Sunday, December 25, 2011

David Katz, M.D.: Bethlehem, 'Perfection' and Our Birthmark: Why Perfect Is the Enemy of Good!

David Katz, M.D.: Bethlehem, 'Perfection' and Our Birthmark: Why Perfect Is the Enemy of Good!

Among the big medical news stories of the past week is an increasingly global tale of failing French breast implants. According to Reuters, as many as 400,000 women in multiple countries are potential victims of defective implants, prone to leakage and made using a grade of silicone never approved for cosmetic surgery by a French company shut down in 2010.

While the true magnitude of associated risks remains speculative, there is concern about both cancer and autoimmune disease. Such associations with silicone breast implants in general have largely been refuted by objective data, but the current situation is enough of a departure to propagate legitimate anxiety among those affected, from the women who received the implants, to public health authorities around the globe, to the French policy makers on whose watch these serious corporate transgressions played out.

Any connection of this worrisome story to events in Bethlehem 2,000 years ago seems at first limited to happenstance; this news happens to be breaking, and I happen to be writing about it, shortly before Christmas. But while undeniably goaded by such temporal serendipity, I do see a connection of deeper significance.

For the faithful of a certain faith, Christmas is about more than oddly-clad elves, expedited gift delivery, and flying ungulates. We all know the holiday is ostensibly a birthday celebration for Jesus, but that just scratches the surface. If true meaning can be found beneath all the layers of pagan and pop-culture veneer, it is about redemption. Jesus was sent to us to embody a perfection unattainable for us; to atone for sins we are incapable of avoiding; and ultimately to fall, and rise, on our behalf -- and thereby absolve the worthy.

The story reverberates more deeply for those who believe than those who don't, of course, but the case is not hard to make that it is evocative for us all, regardless of faith. We yearn to be more perfect than our modest aptitudes allow. We are, as we say, only human, and thus inescapably imperfect. Jesus was sent here to help us confront that limitation.

We cannot cross that threshold on our own, and the stakes of trying tend to be high.

Perhaps no one since Jesus has made that point as clearly, and compellingly, as Nathaniel Hawthorne, in his famous short story, The Birthmark. Hawthorne tells of a scientist married to a woman so beautiful that by all accounts, her beauty is nearly perfect; she is a rival to Helen of Troy. Her nearly perfect beauty is marred only, and ever so slightly, by a birthmark on her cheek.

The scientist contemplates his wife's near perfect beauty, and becomes seduced by the concept of "perfect" beauty. He thinks to himself: after all, I'm a scientist -- I have the power -- I can do this!

The story then builds in an ominous crescendo as the scientist prepares an elixir in his lab, and prepares his wife for the procedure. When at last all is ready, he stretches his wife out on a bed and administers the elixir to her. Lo and behold, the birthmark disappears -- and her beauty is... flawless.

But alas, Hawthorne wrote this story for a religious audience of his day as a moral parable about the unattainable conceit of human perfection. So, in fact, the seemingly superficial birthmark was nothing of the sort, but rather the mark of the heroine's inescapably imperfect humanity. The elixir did remove the birthmark, but it traced its remedial effects from the woman's skin, to the very core of her -- to her heart -- and rendered her beauty perfect, even as it killed her. She could not be perfect and still be a living, breathing human being.

This tale is of surprisingly timely relevance. It is germane to all who aspire to the figures of air-brushed, half-starved super models. It seems germane to those who accept the risks of liposuction, rather than embrace the harder, but safer and more rewarding commitment to using feet and forks as well as possible. And it seems germane to hundreds of thousands of perfectly healthy women, now worrying about the loss of that health for the sake of more perfectly contoured breasts.

I am not faulting the women -- I am challenging their potential successors to reject the faults in a culture that prioritizes perfect boobs over perfectly good health. Never mind the men whose favorable attention the perfectly shaped breasts are presumably crafted to attract. I am speaking past them (us?) to the women.

Ladies: Why would a woman allow anywhere near her a man who is more concerned about the size and symmetry of her breasts, than whether she put her health in jeopardy to get there? The scenario reminds of Woody Allen's irony, noting he wouldn't want to join any club that would accept him as a member. None of us should want anything to do with someone who wants us because of surgical enhancements for which we potentially and electively mortgaged our health.

All truly worthy effort leads toward good, but not to perfect. Perfect is out of reach for the standard issue Homo sapien. Perhaps perfect breasts do happen -- but if so they are invariably accompanied by imperfections elsewhere.

The truly worthy generally also requires some genuine effort. Liposuction removes fat expeditiously, but confers none of the health benefits of weight loss achieved by eating well and increasing physical activity. Even Jesus was denied a quick fix or silver bullet -- and instead endured a crown of thorns. In meaningful efforts to better ourselves, we all have our crosses to bear.

That hundreds of thousands of women around the world will spend this holiday season under dark clouds of anxiety about their health would be bad enough if they had been driven to that predicament by true need. That they do so replicating the fate of Hawthorne's hapless heroine is testimony to the superficial values of our culture, our misguided notions of both perfection and health, and our failure to learn from the follies of history.

Perfect is the enemy of good, because we can't get to perfect. Jesus tells us so. Hawthorne wrote it out for us. If a French breast implant company begs to differ, who do you choose to believe?

As a new year looms, we might consider abandoning the quest for superficial perfection -- and embrace the pursuit of humbler, but deeper good. The particular advantage of good over perfect is... We could actually get there from here.

-fin


Dr. David L. Katz; www.davidkatzmd.com
www.turnthetidefoundation.org

Follow David Katz, M.D. on Twitter: www.twitter.com/DrDavidKatz


Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Judith Johnson: Spending Holidays With 'Loved Ones' Who Aren't Very Nice To You

Judith Johnson: Spending Holidays With 'Loved Ones' Who Aren't Very Nice To You

Below the surface of many family holiday gatherings are mini dramas playing out, contemporary grudges and resentments and unresolved childhood issues. Nothing hurts with such emotional depth as these familial battles. For the tender-hearted, this can be a psychological mine field while self-righteous bullies reign unchallenged. Many silently suffer through these events while dutifully and unconsciously assuming their childhood role as the family black sheep or underdog. Those in secondary roles are often either complicit or oblivious, leaving the underdog to fend for his or herself. Here are seven strategies for doing it differently this year.

Strategy 1: See it for what it is. The bottom line of these battles is that they are mere reflections of the level of consciousness of the participants involved. Most bullies and tyrants have failed to evolve psychologically past their childhoods and are simply functioning out of a juvenile state of consciousness. Typically, they are caught in a win/lose mentality that drives them to perceive themselves as a winner at the expense of someone else. Putting you down is driven by a desperate attempt to put themselves up. In this sense, you are simply a means to an end and their attack on you is really nothing personal. You cannot evolve another person's consciousness for them. Any attempt to address the matter head on with them will simply further ignite their battle position. On the flip side of this, is there any merit to the accusations and judgments lodged against you? If so, are you willing or able to change? If so, only do so for your own highest good and not to seek the approval of others.

Strategy 2: Stay conscious in the present and study how the dynamic works. Remember, it takes two to tango. Play detective with the situation and notice how this other person gets to you. Is it through sarcastic remarks? Giving you the silent treatment? Disdainful looks? Just how do they communicate their rejection and judgment of you? How do they hook you into their game? Pay attention to your own behavior as well. Do you comply by feeling and behaving like a victim? Do you try to defend yourself against their attacks? Does this drama dominate your entire experience? How do you buy in to this other person's point of view?

Strategy 3: Stand tall in your own integrity and truth. Be at the cause of your own behavior rather than at the effect of others. Stop behaving in relationship to this person. Don't buy into the familiar emotional territory of your childhood. Be your own grown-up person. Stop focusing on them and focus on yourself. Be who you know yourself to be rather than jumping into the underdog or black sheep costume of your childhood. Get out of reactionary mode and simply be yourself. By moving your attention away from the bully, you stop feeding on or into the situation.

Strategy 4: Stop wanting or expecting the other person to change. Before entering the situation, psyche yourself up. Remind yourself that this other person is probably never going to change his or her behavior toward you. Make your consciousness big enough to let that happen without being the center of your attention. Make peace with it. Let it be so without trying to change it in any way. Focus instead on learning how to stay true to yourself in the presence of someone who belittles you. Stop giving them your power. Remember that both of you have the freedom to choose how you will behave. Take the high road and don't expect them to join you.

Strategy 5: Practice forgiveness. If you find yourself having a hard time with the situation, launch yourself into forgiveness mode in the privacy of your own mind. Forgive yourself for judging yourself for any judgments you have against yourself or the other person. Keep doing this as judgments come up. Neutralize them with forgiveness. If you don't really feel the forgiveness, do it anyway -- fake it till you make it.

Strategy 6: Step free of the drama and choose to have a healthy, good time. Setting and holding to the intention of doing it differently goes a very long way. Choose out of the drama and into having an authentically good time. Give more of your attention and interest to other people at the gathering. Help out in the kitchen. Just find some way to do it all differently. If you typically sit in a corner, get up and mingle. Find a buffer -- someone you can engage with to shift your focus. Just do whatever it takes to keep moving your attention away from the drama and into finding new ways to be with your family. By doing it differently, you will elicit different responses.

Strategy 7: Strike out on your own for the holidays. If your family gatherings are simply unbearable for you, don't go! There is no law that you have to spend the holidays with your family. What does the holiday mean to you? If it is about being with your family -- then figure out how to do that using the first six strategies above and evolve a place for yourself that nurtures and supports you. If the meaning of the holiday is about the deeper religious message it brings, then find other people to be with who share your beliefs. Maybe you just want to have a light-hearted time. If so, then give yourself the gift of creating that for yourself with our without other people. Take ownership of your own experience and create a happy and blessed holiday for yourself.

The holidays come and go every year. Don't stay stuck in a bad emotional drama. The willingness to do it differently will always create the means and ability you need. Trust yourself and have the courage to step free. Happy holidays, everyone.

Please feel free to leave a comment below, or to contact me at judithjohnson@hvc.rr.com. You can also retweet this post, share it on Facebook or email it to friends who may enjoy it. To learn more about me, visit my website, www.judithjohnson.com or my Facebook page "Tending to Your Ending." For information on my future blogs, click "Fan" at the top of this page.


Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Saturday, December 24, 2011

10 Holiday Headache Triggers

10 Holiday Headache Triggers
What to try: The only way to avoid a pounding head and queasiness the morning after is to drink in moderation, or to stay away from alcohol entirely. But with all sorts of seasonal celebrations going on, it's easy to overindulge. Alternating your drinks with water or another nonalcoholic beverage can help you slow down and stay hydrated. More from Health.com: 10 Hangover Remedies: What Works? Get Headaches? Smart Ways to Deal Surprising Ways to Fight Headache Pain
Source: www.huffingtonpost.com