Friday, May 11, 2012

Honoree Corder: The Scariest Thing I Did After My Split

Honoree Corder: The Scariest Thing I Did After My Split

I broke down in tears within two weeks of my split, but not because I was getting divorced. No, it was sex, or more specifically, the prospect of having sex with a new person (people!) that send me over the edge. I was having drinks with two friends, both of whom had been divorced for several years, and we stumbled upon the subject of dating. I remember my friend saying, "Don't worry, you'll even start having sex again before you know it."

Right there, in the middle of happy hour, I lost it. Seriously, I was a mom. I was a former breast-feeder, and those breasts were in a race for my knees! I had stretch marks, for God's sake, and there was no way I was going to allow anyone to see all of that. On top of it, I was over 30 and we all know that once you're over 30, that's it.

Well, no, that wasn't it. While my physical body was no longer in an unmarred, pre-baby state, I still looked pretty good. I just had all of those disempowering thoughts running around in my head, and it was up to me to change them. I had to get clear that it isn't just a physical body that a man is attracted to; I had other qualities that would be interesting to men.

If you're like most of the women I know, we don't think of sex as just an act -- it's something we do that means something. Sometimes it literally means everything. We engage in it with someone we love, someone we're committed to. After a divorce, it's not that we don't have needs, it's just that those needs take a back-seat to going through the emotions that come with divorce.

In order to open up to sex, love and dating after divorce, the first step is to heal. Healing, unfortunately, can be a pretty hard and daunting process because it means you must be willing to take a hard look at yourself and identify patterns, personality challenges, and opportunities for growth. Once you've gone through that process -- and it takes much longer than it took for me to just type that sentence -- you will eventually find someone you will want to be intimate with (I promise).

You'll also want to get your needs met, just perhaps in a different way than before. I'm a pretty touchy-feely person, so my coach suggested I get my inherent need for touch in another way -- I found that was a great excuse to get a weekly massage. You'll want to identify those needs and then find creative ways to get them met, without compromising your values.

Honorée Corder is an executive coach, personal transformation expert, and the author of "The Successful Single Mom" book series, written for single moms who want to create an amazing future, available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, Smashwords.com and on iTunes. She also created the Single Mom Transformation Program. Visit thesuccessfulsinglemom.blogspot.com for more information. Stay tuned for the upcoming The Successful Single Dad.


Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Will Wilkinson: Make Sure Your I.G.S. Is Steering Your GPS

Will Wilkinson: Make Sure Your I.G.S. Is Steering Your GPS

Being able to get to your geographical destination easily and quickly depends on navigation skills and traffic. Attaining life goals is more complicated. Outcomes are often vague, like being rich and happily married, which is hardly as precise as getting to Marv's Deli in Brooklyn by 7 p.m. on Thursday night.

Some life destinations turn out to be more satisfying than others. Remember times when you got what you wanted, only to be disappointed and unfulfilled? Likewise, you've enjoyed the opposite -- soul level contentment that resulted from actualizing your core intentions. What makes the difference?

All of us have an inner guidance system, what we like to call our I.G.S. It's tuned to a source frequency that broadcasts 24/7 to every living form. This source frequency is known by many names -- some of which are religiously incorrect -- and it effortlessly moves the tides, prevents planets from colliding, and keeps our hair growing (albeit sometimes in the wrong places). When we know how to tune in to source guidance and follow it, we live in harmony with everything else that uses the same navigational system.

Our egos don't. In fact, they thrive on separation from source and have their own substitute system entirely preoccupied with winning, wealth, security, and fame. They have no interest in something as impractical sounding as "source awareness." In fact, our egos have made it their life work to over ride our I.N.S. and divert us into tangential flight paths that lead to collisions and conflict, but there are easily-detected warning signs. How do we recognize them? By cultivating source awareness so we can recognize the difference.

Source awareness is really self-awareness, in the truest sense, since ultimately there is no separation between self and source. And "source" is not mysterious. We're really just talking about the causative level of our experience, which can also be called "evolving self-awareness" or, even more simply, wakefulness. When we are wakeful and pay attention to our inner essence, we can orchestrate a shift from ego-driven to soul-driven navigation. Amazing things start to happen. Now we're going with the flow: previously-rare "synchronicities" become commonplace and conflict diminishes.

Back to those warning signs, here's a few of them you'll probably recognize:

1. Fear. There's a place for fear (like reacting instinctively to an armed assailant), but not in the drivers seat. Fear doesn't need to automatically motivate your behavior when it's inappropriate. The majority of what you fear is imaginary anyway, like worrying about a cold turning out to be cancer. Here's an easy way to deal with fear before it misguides you: stop (interrupt an unconscious reaction), look (assess what's really happening) and listen (tune in for source guidance).

2. Scarcity thinking. You can't be fighting for your piece of the pie and baking a bigger pie at the same time. Remember that the universe is expanding... and so is your evolutionary potential. Sure, this economy challenges that new age belief in universal abundance, but your true wealth is invested well beyond Wall Street. The richness of being who you are always trumps the bragging rights about what you have. That's proven every time someone breathes their last, recalling the love they shared with family and friends, never gloating over how much money they made.

3. Judgment. Nothing needs to be fixed. Of course, you want the world to work for everyone, all children to be safe and well-fed, and your team to win. But a truly better world arises as a reflection of source qualities -- causative forces like kindness, compassion, and generosity -- not from clever ego strategies based in illusory judgment. Those positive, causative qualities must be focused through what you actually do, not just what you think about. And those well-meaning actions that the ego organizes, like saving the world, devoid of those qualities? Well, remember what they say about the road to hell being paved with... right, good intentions!

4. Busyness. Being crazy-busy is nothing to be proud of. It's another warning sign that the ego is at the helm and trying to run your life on its own. If source intelligence can coordinate the orbits of billions of stars, manage the regeneration of trillions of cells in trillions of organisms, plus find you a parking place when you're running late -- all at the same time and without breaking a sweat or using a Blackberry -- it's safe to relax. Breathe. Enjoy the moment and just flow. Everything else already is, except desperate human egos, flailing away in separation.

Your GPS won't work without a power source and neither will your I.G.S. Your GPS needs electricity; an I.G.S. needs life force. You can feel that energy whenever you meditate, so that's a good idea. But you can't meditate all day long, so take regular time outs to develop the experience of being consistently present, more fully alive and enjoying where you are in each moment.

Life is a journey not a destination, and making sure that your I.G.S. is steering your GPS will keep you on track, expanding genuine happiness while fulfilling your soul's core intentions, not just shuttling you efficiently from one location to another. All of us are here to grow anyway, to better ourselves, not just to make really good time in the wrong direction.

Master Charles Cannon, author, teacher, creator of High Tech Meditation, is a modern spiritual teacher, visionary and pioneer in the evolution of human consciousness.

Will Wilkinson is an author who collaborates with modern visionaries to render ancient wisdom for modern applications.

http://forgivingtheunforgivable.com/index.php/forgiving-the-unforgivalbe-blog

For more by Master Charles Cannon, click here.

For more by Will Wilkinson, click here.

For more on GPS for the Soul, click here.


Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Monday, May 7, 2012

10 Easy Strategies To Slow The Aging Process

10 Easy Strategies To Slow The Aging Process
Red Wine Benefits

A new study shows a compound in red wine improves cell functioning and longevity.

Red wine has long been a controversial libation (and not because of cabernet versus malbec battles). Scientists have gone back and forth over the years about red wine's benefits; specifically whether or not resveratrol, a plant compound found in the drink, has anti-aging powers.

But a recent study published in the journal Cell Metabolism found resveratrol does “prolong lifespan,” overturning a 2010 National Institute of Aging report.

Researchers at the National Institute of Health and the Glenn Foundation for Medical Research found that resveratrol’s anti-aging properties are only expressed when a specific gene, SIRT1, is present, i09 reports. Mice bred without the SIRT1 gene were not affected by the compound. But The Los Angeles Times reports:

"...those that had the gene responded to Resveratrol with improved vascular and metabolic function, reduced inflammation and overall, cells that use fuel and clean up waste more efficiently."

The discovery may speed up the use of resveratrol in an anti-aging drug; previous attempts were cut short because of the 2010 NIA report. We’ll drink to that -- and to these nine other anti-aging strategies.

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Source: www.huffingtonpost.com