Butt Seriously Folks, Did You Hear The One About the Colonoscopy?

Butt Seriously Folks, Did You Hear The One About the Colonoscopy?

Which is the medical test most dread by mid-lifers that also is a staple of a lot of comedians' repertoire? The colonoscopy, of course.

There is some good news on the serious side of the test which many a boomer has been known to avoid because -- aside from imagining the unimaginable being done to your body -- the preparation required to get your colon squeaky clean and ready for its closeup has pretty much remained unchanged since the Dark Ages. Until now.

There is now a non-invasive alternative to the traditional optical colonoscopy that skips all the nasty parts, including the gallon of industrial-strength laxative you're supposed to drink that shackles you to the bathroom for two days before, and the anesthesia that leaves you wiped out for two days after. The only problem is, while the alternative is a whole lot easier on the body, it's way tougher on the wallet because there is an excellent chance your health insurance -- including Medicare -- won't cover it.

The alternative, known as a virtual colonoscopy, or a computerized tomography (CT) colonoscopy, creates a three-dimensional view of the colon's interior and can detect about 90% of precancerous polyps that are 10 millimeters (0.4 inches) or larger. Most studies say that the virtual colonoscopy is just as effective, if not better, than the old camera-scope-up-the-behind way. The other thing the virtual colonoscopy does is eliminate patients' dread of the procedure, which means maybe they won't skip screenings. We'd point out that no screening equals no early detection.

Dr. Otis Brawley, chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society and author of "How We Do Harm," said eliminating the need for anesthesia by doing the colonoscopy virtually is a huge boon in itself. While maybe not the aspect of the procedure that most patients object to -- the prep and invasive nature of having a camera scope inserted generally steal that top billing -- not having to be knocked out "is a big advantage," Brawley said.

In a traditional optical colonoscopy, a camera scope is inserted while the patient is anesthetized. If polyps are spotted, they are generally removed and biopsied right on the spot, which Brawley said, may be the one advantage to the old method. "If the doctor sees something suspicious during a virtual colonoscopy, the patient will still need to be prepped and anesthetized to have the polyp removed." That happens about 15 percent of the time.

The other advantage of the virtual colonoscopy method is that you can hit the rewind button for a second look at a suspicious spot. In an optical colonoscopy, the scope is inserted and the doctor looks at the colon as the scope is pulled out. There is no pushing it back in for a second look.

For the record, not all locations are able to do the virtual view without the cleansing prep, and some insurance companies will pay for the virtual colonoscopy if it can be established that the anesthesia is a concern for the patient's health. But overall, the cleansing prep vanishes and nobody is paying.

Now exactly what will happen to all those colonoscopy joke-telling comics should the procedure actually catch on is a different matter. Lest they face extinction, here is a sampling of our favorite online colonoscopy joke finds:

Looking Out My Back Door video: http://youtu.be/wmKnf7QhuSo

Some one-liners: http://www.colonjoke.net/category/ccuu/

Dave Barry on his colonoscopy: http://shooterspagetxforums.yuku.com/topic/6822/Dave-Barry-s-colonoscopy#.T7u6a59Yvqo

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Robert V. Taylor: Embracing Inclusion Banishes Fear

Robert V. Taylor: Embracing Inclusion Banishes Fear

Openly gay Air Force cadet graduates gift us with their pioneering courage! At personal cost, they point to the truth that the moral arc of the universe bends toward inclusion. Their courage is an invitation to trust in our own imagination and voice, embracing inclusion that banishes fear.

President Obama was the speaker at the U.S. Air Force Academy graduation in Colorado Springs, where these newly graduated lesbian and gay cadets took their rightful place alongside their heterosexual classmates. How fitting that the president who secured the end to LGBT discrimination in the armed forces participated in this historic moment.

For some of us, the fearless courage of the new cadets is a given because we have made strides to live authentic, integrated lives in which we claim the fullness of our humanity. In decades to come, people will look back at this moment and wonder why it was a big deal. It is a seismic moment, reminding us of the courage and self-love that it takes to step beyond whatever encloses us, keeping us from the fullness of our magnificence and well-being -- no matter who we are.

Like many LGBT people, my journey to coming out was a circuitous one. Living in South Africa in the oppressive apartheid years, it felt physically unsafe to be out. In the years that followed in my new home in New York, each step out of the closet to claiming my identity was matched with a half-step back. It did not always feel emotionally and spiritually safe to be transparent. The bad advice of those who loved me, expressing concern for my welfare and employment as they urged me to be circumspect, was like a sedative keeping me from being fully human.

In a transformative moment, I responded to the veiled threats of being outed and attacked for the sexual orientation that comprises a part of my identity. In my night sweats of fear about an imminent outing I discovered a wake-up call. No longer would I ever again live with the threat of denying my fullness. No longer would I freely give such power to others. Instead, I made a choice to claim my story, voice and love just as these cadets have done.

It was a new moment on the road to living an integrated life. My sexual orientation would be as fully embraced as my love of cooking, exercise and mystery novels. It would become a co-equal identifier along with my Palestinian and South African heritage, my experiences as an exile and an immigrant. They would co-exist in unexpected new harmony.

My own fears were not about the people I loved rejecting me. They were all fears about those outside of my immediate circle of trust and love, fears of losing a job and being rejected as a community leader. In naming and befriending my fears, their power to confine and define me was deflated.

The pioneering cadets who are out about who they are have probably not arrived at that truth without courage and struggle. The world needs their voices as much as the suspension of "Don't Ask Don't Tell" needs it in order to live into the promise of full inclusion without threat, fear or intimidation. Their personal struggles dealing with the dying remnants of homophobia as the institution they serve adapts to new realities will still be real. But they already know the enlivening freedom from fear.

Courage emerges from the self-love that demands your own well-being. These Air Force cadets invite others to give voice and imagination to the inclusive well-being of all.

For more by Robert V. Taylor, click here.

For more on becoming fearless, click here.

Follow Robert V. Taylor on Twitter: www.twitter.com/robertvtaylor

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The Condition Nearly 1 In 4 Teens Are Being Diagnosed With

The Condition Nearly 1 In 4 Teens Are Being Diagnosed With

The number of teens in the U.S. with diabetes or prediabetes has skyrocketed in the last decade, jumping from 9 to 23 percent, new data finds.

Other cardiovascular risk factors, including high blood pressure and bad cholesterol, were stable during that period, but remain relatively high.

"This has serious long-term public health implications for this country," said Dr. Vivian Fonseca, president of medicine and science with the American Diabetes Association, who was not involved in the research. "We're likely to see a lot of people get diabetes and have cardiovascular events at a relatively young age over the next 10 to 20 years."

The new data, published online in the journal Pediatrics Monday, includes nearly 3,400 children ages 12 to 19 from the Centers for Disease Control's National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, designed to track the health and nutrition of Americans.

The percent of overweight and obese teens did not change significantly from 1999 through 2008, hovering around the current estimate of 34 percent. The prevalence of prehypertension and high blood pressure also stayed relatively stable, at around 14 percent, as did high levels of LDL or "bad" cholesterol, at 22 percent. Low levels of HDL or "good" cholesterol stayed at about 6 percent.

However, the prevalence of prediabetes and diabetes jumped significantly, from 9 percent of teens in 1999-2000 to 23 percent in 2007-2008.

"I am reassured that at least we haven't seen a continuing rise in the rate of childhood obesity,” said Dr. Lori Laffel, chief of pediatrics at the Joslin Diabetes Center and a professor at Harvard Medical School.

“I am reassured that most of the cardiovascular risk factors the researchers looked at have not increased," she continued. "But it is concerning that it looks like the rates of prediabetes and diabetes have more than doubled over that 10-year period."

Laffel said that the results should be validated and raise interesting questions about what, if anything, is driving the change in diabetes rates. For example, she said it is somewhat puzzling that obesity rates have stayed relatively stable while diabetes has increased, given the close ties between the two. Obesity increases the risk of impaired glucose tolerance, insulin resistance and the development of type 2 diabetes in both adults and children.

But overall, the new study does reinforce the link between obesity and heart-health risk factors.

About half of the overweight teens and more than 60 percent of the obese participants had at least one cardiovascular risk factor, a finding researchers call "concerning, given growing evidence demonstrating that cardiovascular risk factors present during childhood may persist into adulthood." The most common combination of risk factors among those teens was bad cholesterol and high blood pressure, or prehypertension, both of which can increase the risk of developing heart disease.

"This really speaks to the need for pediatricians to be vigilant about following screening recommendations, especially for obese and overweight teens," said study co-author Ashleigh May with the CDC's division of nutrition, physical activity and obesity, adding that 35 percent of normal-weight teens also had at least one risk factor. "We do see these risk factors are high for all youth, not just overweight and obese youth."

What the study points to, she said, is a pressing need for better prevention given that even moderate changes can have profound results. Studies have suggested that by eating less fat and fewer calories, and getting the equivalent of around 20 minutes of exercise per day, people can reduce their risk of developing diabetes by nearly 60 percent.

"We do know that we can slow or even halt the progression of prediabetes and diabetes," said Fonseca.

But the new findings raise serious red flags about what could happen without improved intervention and prevention.

"This is telling us that there is a very high prevalence of obesity-related problems in people in the age group 12 to 19. That's something we used to see only in people in their 40s," Fonseca said. "What this really means is that people are going to get serious health issues when they're in the prime of their lives."

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