Missy Chase Lapine: My Gluten-Free Diet Disaster

Missy Chase Lapine: My Gluten-Free Diet Disaster

A couple of years ago, when my daughter Sammy was 9, some health issues she'd had pretty much since birth -- asthma and eczema -- suddenly became a whole lot worse. Her breathing tests showed reduced lung function and her entire body was itchy, red and dry. Sammy was also having terrible G.I. troubles. We met with various specialists, but nothing seemed to help. Then I began to wonder: Was this a new food allergy? Sammy had long been diagnosed with various food allergies -- the most severe of them being to nuts. (And as if her diet wasn't already limited, she was an extremely picky eater, as well. She was my inspiration for The Sneaky Chef cookbook series!) Eventually, we ended up back in the allergist's office -- and learned that she had developed an allergy to wheat, barley and rye (the gluten-containing grains). If she went off gluten, her doctor said, Sammy's problems should clear up.

Yeah. Not an easy prospect. Sammy is my "carbotarian." Like most kids, she loves pizza, pasta, grilled cheese sandwiches and birthday cake. So as soon as the words came out of the doctor's mouth, I quickly blurted, "Don't worry, baby -- if you can't have it, I won't either!" I felt badly for her. And I didn't want to be chowing down crusty bagels and pizza slices in her face -- somehow it seemed mean, especially since her sister, Emily, has no food allergies and doesn't share my guilt. She'll happily munch a bowl of pasta or a blueberry muffin in front of her sister. So that was it: I would join Sammy in gluten-free solidarity -- besides, maybe I'd drop a few pounds too.

I researched all the foods containing gluten -- the obvious ones, as well as the not-so obvious foods, (see hidden sources of gluten) like soy sauce and certain deli meats, and eliminated them out of our diets. I hunted down gluten-free substitutes for our favorite foods -- and, as you may know, there are tons. With all the hype the diet has received recently -- and all the companies cranking out new products to meet the demand -- it's a pretty good time to be diagnosed with a gluten allergy or sensitivity. (Check here for symptoms to see if you may have a gluten intolerance or sensitivity.)

Sammy and I taste-tested and discovered our favorite gluten-free pastas, pizza crusts, cookies and breads and just swapped them in -- so essentially we were eating the same types of foods and in the same quantities as we had been with the "regular" stuff. After a few weeks on the gluten-free diet, Sammy's eczema cleared up and her breathing tests and gastro issues improved. The unusual puffiness she'd had in her face went down -- Sammy looked like her adorable old self again. She seemed pretty content to live the gluten-free life. The biggest challenge for her was birthday parties, when she'd have to bring her own cupcake. I can't tell you how relieved I was for Sammy.

I, however, didn't have the same happy side effect. I'm not allergic to gluten, so I didn't expect that removing it from my diet would really do anything for me, except maybe help me drop a few pounds. But it did just the opposite; it made the scale needle start creeping up higher than usual. Some people diagnosed with celiac disease gain weight when they remove the offending gluten, simply because their bodies start absorbing nutrients properly -- but that wasn't the case with my own weight gain.

That's when I started really studying the ingredients and nutrition facts and comparing gluten-free products to their regular counterparts. Almost always, the gluten-free versions were considerably lower in fiber and nutrients in general, and higher in starchy calories as well as sugar and fat, especially compared to the whole grain products that I had given up. And they made me feel hungrier, perhaps because fiber normally offsets the carb load and helps keep my blood sugar stable. I couldn't believe it! Yes, going gluten-free had helped Sammy's asthma and eczema, but now I felt we were compromising our overall health and nutrition -- we were essentially eating the equivalent of processed white bread all day.

Please note that I do commend the gluten-free food companies for making life bearable for so many people who really need to eat gluten-free -- but we need to be aware of the imbalance of these foods. If you're going to eat your way through the gluten-free section of the grocery store, it's important to balance your diet with fiber and other nutrients that are inherently missing, and pay attention to portions.

That was it for me. After a year of going full-on gluten-free, I called it quits -- and not just because of the weight gain shock, but because there was no compelling health reason for me to stick with it. As for Sammy, my solution was to cut back on the packaged gluten-free products and lean more heavily on real gluten-free foods, instead -- things like beans, fruits, veggies, brown rice and grains like quinoa and buckwheat. I've even created my own Sneaky Chef healthy recipes with these ingredients, like gluten-free Brainy Brownies made with blueberries and baby spinach and chocolate chip cookies boosted with white beans (recipe below).

Take a look! When I compared fiber, calories and fat for common whole grain foods I normally eat vs. the gluten-free versions, it's a wonder I didn't gain more than the five pounds I put on while eating gluten-free!

English Muffins

1  of  9

Gluten-free English muffins can have nearly double the calories with five times the fat and less fiber!

Gluten-free English muffins can have nearly double the calories with five times the fat and less fiber!

English Muffins

Gluten-free English muffins can have nearly double the calories with five times the fat and less fiber!

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For more by Missy Chase Lapine, click here.

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Fix Your Form: How To Do The Perfect Dumbbell Row

Fix Your Form: How To Do The Perfect Dumbbell Row

If you don't know your way around a weight room, heading to the gym can be intimidating -- and even dangerous. But paying attention to a few simple rules of proper technique can make you slimmer, stronger and healthier all over.

That's why we asked John Romaniello, trainer, author and founder of Roman Fitness Systems to show us what's what when it comes to strength training.

He'll be helping us tackle some of the most common mistakes we all make while building muscle, plus tips and tricks for perfect form. This week, we're taking a closer look at the dumbbell row.

The Faux Pas: "The single-arm dumbbell row is generally well-performed in terms of the movement itself," says Romaniello. "What people screw up is their posture." Rounding the back can make your spine and shoulder vulnerable to injury, he says.

The Fix: "Instead, make sure to keep a straight spine and brace the core," he says. Lift the weight up toward the hip until the upper arm is level with the back.

Now it's your turn. Evaluate your row form, then try the tips above. Tell us how it goes in the comments below, and be sure to check back over the following weeks to fix your squats, planks and more.

Check out more in our Fix Your Form series below:

• Pushups: The Faux Pas

  <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/08/fix-your-form-pushup_n_1500458.html" target="_hplink">Find out how to do the perfect pushup here.</a>

• Pushups: The Fix

  <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/08/fix-your-form-pushup_n_1500458.html" target="_hplink">Find out how to do the perfect pushup here.</a>

• Lunges: The Faux Pas

  <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/15/fix-your-form-lunge_n_1515388.html" target="_hplink">Find out how to do the perfect lunge here.</a>

• Lunges: The Fix

  <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/15/fix-your-form-lunge_n_1515388.html" target="_hplink">Find out how to do the perfect lunge here.</a>

• Crunches: The Faux Pas

  <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/22/fix-your-form-crunches_n_1533341.html" target="_hplink">Find out how to do the perfect crunch here.</a>

• Crunches: The Fix

  <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/22/fix-your-form-crunches_n_1533341.html" target="_hplink">Find out how to do the perfect crunch here.</a>

• Related Video

Photos by Damon Dahlen, AOL

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Butt Seriously Folks, Did You Hear The One About the Colonoscopy?

Butt Seriously Folks, Did You Hear The One About the Colonoscopy?

Which is the medical test most dread by mid-lifers that also is a staple of a lot of comedians' repertoire? The colonoscopy, of course.

There is some good news on the serious side of the test which many a boomer has been known to avoid because -- aside from imagining the unimaginable being done to your body -- the preparation required to get your colon squeaky clean and ready for its closeup has pretty much remained unchanged since the Dark Ages. Until now.

There is now a non-invasive alternative to the traditional optical colonoscopy that skips all the nasty parts, including the gallon of industrial-strength laxative you're supposed to drink that shackles you to the bathroom for two days before, and the anesthesia that leaves you wiped out for two days after. The only problem is, while the alternative is a whole lot easier on the body, it's way tougher on the wallet because there is an excellent chance your health insurance -- including Medicare -- won't cover it.

The alternative, known as a virtual colonoscopy, or a computerized tomography (CT) colonoscopy, creates a three-dimensional view of the colon's interior and can detect about 90% of precancerous polyps that are 10 millimeters (0.4 inches) or larger. Most studies say that the virtual colonoscopy is just as effective, if not better, than the old camera-scope-up-the-behind way. The other thing the virtual colonoscopy does is eliminate patients' dread of the procedure, which means maybe they won't skip screenings. We'd point out that no screening equals no early detection.

Dr. Otis Brawley, chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society and author of "How We Do Harm," said eliminating the need for anesthesia by doing the colonoscopy virtually is a huge boon in itself. While maybe not the aspect of the procedure that most patients object to -- the prep and invasive nature of having a camera scope inserted generally steal that top billing -- not having to be knocked out "is a big advantage," Brawley said.

In a traditional optical colonoscopy, a camera scope is inserted while the patient is anesthetized. If polyps are spotted, they are generally removed and biopsied right on the spot, which Brawley said, may be the one advantage to the old method. "If the doctor sees something suspicious during a virtual colonoscopy, the patient will still need to be prepped and anesthetized to have the polyp removed." That happens about 15 percent of the time.

The other advantage of the virtual colonoscopy method is that you can hit the rewind button for a second look at a suspicious spot. In an optical colonoscopy, the scope is inserted and the doctor looks at the colon as the scope is pulled out. There is no pushing it back in for a second look.

For the record, not all locations are able to do the virtual view without the cleansing prep, and some insurance companies will pay for the virtual colonoscopy if it can be established that the anesthesia is a concern for the patient's health. But overall, the cleansing prep vanishes and nobody is paying.

Now exactly what will happen to all those colonoscopy joke-telling comics should the procedure actually catch on is a different matter. Lest they face extinction, here is a sampling of our favorite online colonoscopy joke finds:

Looking Out My Back Door video: http://youtu.be/wmKnf7QhuSo

Some one-liners: http://www.colonjoke.net/category/ccuu/

Dave Barry on his colonoscopy: http://shooterspagetxforums.yuku.com/topic/6822/Dave-Barry-s-colonoscopy#.T7u6a59Yvqo

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Robert V. Taylor: Embracing Inclusion Banishes Fear

Robert V. Taylor: Embracing Inclusion Banishes Fear

Openly gay Air Force cadet graduates gift us with their pioneering courage! At personal cost, they point to the truth that the moral arc of the universe bends toward inclusion. Their courage is an invitation to trust in our own imagination and voice, embracing inclusion that banishes fear.

President Obama was the speaker at the U.S. Air Force Academy graduation in Colorado Springs, where these newly graduated lesbian and gay cadets took their rightful place alongside their heterosexual classmates. How fitting that the president who secured the end to LGBT discrimination in the armed forces participated in this historic moment.

For some of us, the fearless courage of the new cadets is a given because we have made strides to live authentic, integrated lives in which we claim the fullness of our humanity. In decades to come, people will look back at this moment and wonder why it was a big deal. It is a seismic moment, reminding us of the courage and self-love that it takes to step beyond whatever encloses us, keeping us from the fullness of our magnificence and well-being -- no matter who we are.

Like many LGBT people, my journey to coming out was a circuitous one. Living in South Africa in the oppressive apartheid years, it felt physically unsafe to be out. In the years that followed in my new home in New York, each step out of the closet to claiming my identity was matched with a half-step back. It did not always feel emotionally and spiritually safe to be transparent. The bad advice of those who loved me, expressing concern for my welfare and employment as they urged me to be circumspect, was like a sedative keeping me from being fully human.

In a transformative moment, I responded to the veiled threats of being outed and attacked for the sexual orientation that comprises a part of my identity. In my night sweats of fear about an imminent outing I discovered a wake-up call. No longer would I ever again live with the threat of denying my fullness. No longer would I freely give such power to others. Instead, I made a choice to claim my story, voice and love just as these cadets have done.

It was a new moment on the road to living an integrated life. My sexual orientation would be as fully embraced as my love of cooking, exercise and mystery novels. It would become a co-equal identifier along with my Palestinian and South African heritage, my experiences as an exile and an immigrant. They would co-exist in unexpected new harmony.

My own fears were not about the people I loved rejecting me. They were all fears about those outside of my immediate circle of trust and love, fears of losing a job and being rejected as a community leader. In naming and befriending my fears, their power to confine and define me was deflated.

The pioneering cadets who are out about who they are have probably not arrived at that truth without courage and struggle. The world needs their voices as much as the suspension of "Don't Ask Don't Tell" needs it in order to live into the promise of full inclusion without threat, fear or intimidation. Their personal struggles dealing with the dying remnants of homophobia as the institution they serve adapts to new realities will still be real. But they already know the enlivening freedom from fear.

Courage emerges from the self-love that demands your own well-being. These Air Force cadets invite others to give voice and imagination to the inclusive well-being of all.

For more by Robert V. Taylor, click here.

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The Condition Nearly 1 In 4 Teens Are Being Diagnosed With

The Condition Nearly 1 In 4 Teens Are Being Diagnosed With

The number of teens in the U.S. with diabetes or prediabetes has skyrocketed in the last decade, jumping from 9 to 23 percent, new data finds.

Other cardiovascular risk factors, including high blood pressure and bad cholesterol, were stable during that period, but remain relatively high.

"This has serious long-term public health implications for this country," said Dr. Vivian Fonseca, president of medicine and science with the American Diabetes Association, who was not involved in the research. "We're likely to see a lot of people get diabetes and have cardiovascular events at a relatively young age over the next 10 to 20 years."

The new data, published online in the journal Pediatrics Monday, includes nearly 3,400 children ages 12 to 19 from the Centers for Disease Control's National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, designed to track the health and nutrition of Americans.

The percent of overweight and obese teens did not change significantly from 1999 through 2008, hovering around the current estimate of 34 percent. The prevalence of prehypertension and high blood pressure also stayed relatively stable, at around 14 percent, as did high levels of LDL or "bad" cholesterol, at 22 percent. Low levels of HDL or "good" cholesterol stayed at about 6 percent.

However, the prevalence of prediabetes and diabetes jumped significantly, from 9 percent of teens in 1999-2000 to 23 percent in 2007-2008.

"I am reassured that at least we haven't seen a continuing rise in the rate of childhood obesity,” said Dr. Lori Laffel, chief of pediatrics at the Joslin Diabetes Center and a professor at Harvard Medical School.

“I am reassured that most of the cardiovascular risk factors the researchers looked at have not increased," she continued. "But it is concerning that it looks like the rates of prediabetes and diabetes have more than doubled over that 10-year period."

Laffel said that the results should be validated and raise interesting questions about what, if anything, is driving the change in diabetes rates. For example, she said it is somewhat puzzling that obesity rates have stayed relatively stable while diabetes has increased, given the close ties between the two. Obesity increases the risk of impaired glucose tolerance, insulin resistance and the development of type 2 diabetes in both adults and children.

But overall, the new study does reinforce the link between obesity and heart-health risk factors.

About half of the overweight teens and more than 60 percent of the obese participants had at least one cardiovascular risk factor, a finding researchers call "concerning, given growing evidence demonstrating that cardiovascular risk factors present during childhood may persist into adulthood." The most common combination of risk factors among those teens was bad cholesterol and high blood pressure, or prehypertension, both of which can increase the risk of developing heart disease.

"This really speaks to the need for pediatricians to be vigilant about following screening recommendations, especially for obese and overweight teens," said study co-author Ashleigh May with the CDC's division of nutrition, physical activity and obesity, adding that 35 percent of normal-weight teens also had at least one risk factor. "We do see these risk factors are high for all youth, not just overweight and obese youth."

What the study points to, she said, is a pressing need for better prevention given that even moderate changes can have profound results. Studies have suggested that by eating less fat and fewer calories, and getting the equivalent of around 20 minutes of exercise per day, people can reduce their risk of developing diabetes by nearly 60 percent.

"We do know that we can slow or even halt the progression of prediabetes and diabetes," said Fonseca.

But the new findings raise serious red flags about what could happen without improved intervention and prevention.

"This is telling us that there is a very high prevalence of obesity-related problems in people in the age group 12 to 19. That's something we used to see only in people in their 40s," Fonseca said. "What this really means is that people are going to get serious health issues when they're in the prime of their lives."

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David Katz, M.D.: The Problem With Our Approach To The Obesity Epidemic

David Katz, M.D.: The Problem With Our Approach To The Obesity Epidemic

That's dam"m"ed, not dam"n"ed.

A CDC report issued today from the Division of Unintentional Injury Prevention reveals that drowning causes more deaths among children age 1 to 4 in the U.S. than any other cause except congenital anomalies.

This is a terrible, tragic, and obviously extremely important subject in its own right -- just not one in which I have any particular expertise.

Since my work doesn't relate directly to drowning -- other than having been a lifeguard and swim instructor earlier in life, and having taught all my kids, and many others, to swim -- I want to talk about my usual topic -- epidemic obesity -- because I think the two are more related than most people realize.

The Institute of Medicine recently released its report on what it will take to fix the problem of epidemic obesity. Timed to coincide with the Weight of the Nation scientific conference and mini-series on HBO, the intent -- well served, I think -- was to draw the nation's attention to the urgency of this issue more forcefully than ever.

The urgency relates to the dire human toll of rampant obesity and its consequences among children and adults alike. I have addressed this topic on any number of prior occasions, and I trust you don't want to hear about it again. There is a point at which doom and gloom simply cause us all to tune out.

The novel elements that figured in the programming this time around included, for one, a new perspective on the price tag -- the opportunity to save, or spend, over a half-trillion dollars on obesity between now and 2030. And, for another, a dedicated focus on the solution.

The solution is what the IOM report, "Accelerating Progress in Obesity Prevention: Solving the Weight of the Nation," is all about. There are, of course, plenty of particulars in the full report, but the authors distilled the gist down to these five bullet points:

• Integrate physical activity every day in every way
• Market what matters for a healthy life
• Make healthy foods and beverages available everywhere
• Activate employers and health care professionals
• Strengthen schools as the heart of health

That's pretty succinct, but really could be made more so. The solution to epidemic obesity and its unsustainable toll in both human and dollar costs is: Fix everything.

I don't disagree. We have epidemic obesity for many good reasons. Fundamentally, we have converted a world in which calories were relatively scarce and hard to get and physical activity unavoidable into a world where physical activity is scarce and hard to get and calories are unavoidable.

We've solved the age-old problem of food scarcity by devising, for our part of the world at least, food excess. We've solved the problem of over-taxed muscles by devising technology to do just about everything muscles used to do. We've solved the problem of food spoilage by devising highly processed foods that might literally have a longer shelf life than the person eating them.

And, whereas we relied on people's intrinsic motivation to eat throughout all of history up until now, we have devised an industry dedicated entirely to talking people into eating more. Vast sums of money are exchanged both on marketing the dietary excesses that spawn obesity, and dieting programs that promise to fix it. An intelligent life form from elsewhere looking at this would surely conclude: We are nuts!

But of course, it's not all crazy. Some of it is just momentum. We've spent thousands of years working to overcome the challenges of too little food and too much physical exertion. We got caught up in these efforts and overshot the target! It's hard to reverse 12,000 years of human inertia, but that's what the IOM is recommending.

The IOM and I agree -- we need to fix everything. We need physical activity to populate our daily routines once again. We need healthful foods in reasonable quantities to constitute our diets once again. We need time for food preparation. We need to sleep better, and manage stress -- so we have the energy and equanimity to eat well and exercise.

But there are problems with a "fix everything" platform, no matter how defensible it may be.

First, no one is in charge of everything: food marketing, farm subsidies, sin taxes, school programming, school food, nutrition labeling, worksite wellness, transportation, and so on. And since no one is in charge of everything, calls to fix everything have the potential to lead nowhere -- because everyone assumes someone else should get it all done.

And second, even if we can figure out where the buck should stop, fixing everything can be quite overwhelming. And when we feel overwhelmed, we may not even bother to try. That tends to happen at the individual level, where people who don't feel they can succeed at eating well or being active simply abandon the effort. But it can also play out at the level of policy, where if doing it all is out of the question, the alternative all too often is doing nothing.

Since I have been wrestling with just such misgivings for years, I have settled on a particular view of what fixing everything looks like that I believe can help. Fixing everything is like building a levee.

I like the levee metaphor -- and have relied on it to guide my own health efforts, personal and professional, for years -- for three reasons.

First, the challenges we confront may be likened to a flood. A flood (800,000 items strong!) of highly processed, hyper-palatable, energy-dense, nutrient-dilute, glow-in-the-dark, betcha-can't-eat-just-one kind of foods. A constant flow of marketing dollars encouraging us -- and our kids -- to overconsume the very foods that propel us toward obesity and early-onset chronic disease. Wave after wave of technological advance, endowing us with devices that do things muscles used to do at work, and at play.

Second, a levee helps relieve the burden of a daunting task. Holding back a river is a daunting task. But no one person has to do all that! All anyone needs to do is stack a bag of sand. Stack one bag (or more than one) of sand, and you are part of the solution -- and thus not part of the problem. A levee is achieved incrementally -- and so, too, can we turn the tide of epidemic obesity.

And, finally, the levee illustrates a precautionary tale. Imagine the folly of putting one bag of sand along the bank of a flooding river and then asking: Are we dry yet? No one sand bag, no matter how good, can possibly contain a cresting river. No one sand bag can do what the whole levee can do. And similarly, no one program, or policy, or practice will fix obesity and related chronic disease for society. But we tend to think -- or at least wish -- it would. We are a quick fix, silver bullet, active ingredient kind of society.

But the active ingredient in fixing epidemic obesity is eating well and being active and everything that helps us get there. No one sandbag will do.

What are the sandbags in such a levee? I've written about them before, on more than one occasion, in both the peer-reviewed literature and here; cried out for them from any podium I'm granted; and established a non-profit foundation devoted entirely to making them available.

The levee is more than a good metaphor -- it's a method. There are no clear marching orders that correspond with "fix everything." But the marching orders related to levee-building are clear to the point of intuitive. Choose a bag of sand, and set it on the bank.

Which brings us back to the report on drowning. In the case of drowning, it's obvious we should not focus on lotions, potions, or pills. It's obvious we should not focus primarily on better ways to treat drowning when we have the option to prevent it. It's obvious the "fault" lies with an environment that makes drowning possible or likely, and not with the children.

With regard to obesity, we have overlooked all these same considerations. So it's time to start looking over the obesity floodplain we have been overlooking, and build the levee -- one sandbag at a time.

And in the interim, we need to recognize we are drowning in a flood of calories and labor-saving technology of our own devising, and willpower does not keep people afloat. Skill power does. Everybody can learn how to swim- and while waiting on the world to change, everybody needs to do just that.

-fin

Dr. David L. Katz; www.davidkatzmd.com
www.turnthetidefoundation.org

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Rick Foster: An Answer to Your Question: How I Really Went Off Sugar

Rick Foster: An Answer to Your Question: How I Really Went Off Sugar

On April 9, I posted an article, "My Year Off Sugar," which listed the many benefits I got from 12 months of sugar abstinence. The posting prompted wonderful, and sometimes frustrated, responses from Huffington Post readers -- both on the site and to me personally. The most edgy among them noted that I made sugar abstinence look too easy and asked how I "really, really, really did it." Fair enough. This is how I really went off sugar. And be prepared! This involves changing behaviors that, I think, actually changed some of my brain's deepest neural pathways. I believe you can do it too!

A quick review: In April of 2011, a friend sent me Gary Taubes' New York Times article, "Is Sugar Toxic?" At the time, I was in an open frame of mind that allowed me to be receptive to new data, which really just meant that I didn't immediately hit the "diet story delete" button. In the short term, I wished I had, because the article induced a fearful epiphany. I hadn't been previously aware of the metabolic disturbances and other frightening impacts of sugar on my body. Thus, fear became the spark that ignited a major life change, which I'm enjoying to this day.

Like most people, I don't enjoy fear. And, fortunately, I have an emotional toolkit to activate when I'm fearful. As luck would have it, I'm a professional happiness expert -- a researcher, lecturer, and consultant on happiness, and, with my partner, Greg Hicks, have written about it for years. When I'm feeling less than cheerful or am in a crisis, I've learned to invoke our happiness model for my own use. Even though it may seem unrelated to the world of dieting, a number of elements in the model quickly worked wonders for changing my eating behavior. Frankly, I was thrilled that my own professional "material" worked so well on my personal self.

So, I was fearful and unhappy about my eating patterns. How could I get happy? For starters, years of research tells me that going straight to "intentionality" is the best first step to happiness. And, I was right. Intention turned out to be the springboard for losing 25 pounds, sleeping through the night, and a host of other physical changes resulting from not ingesting sugar.

What does "intention" mean, and how does it relate to sugar consumption? What we learned from extremely happy people is that they actively choose how they're going to react to situations. They choose what attitude they're going to have and how they're going to behave. Their intentions are the internal message they're giving themselves about who they're going to be. These are very different from goals, which are outcomes -- the final achievements that can be calibrated, measured and celebrated. For example, a measureable and specific diet goal would be, "I'm going to lose 25 pounds in the next six months." In the case of my own impending sugar abstinence, I crafted these intentions: "I'm going to be the kind of person who takes care of himself by not eating sugar." "I intend to be mindful of what I shove into my mouth." "I'm going to identify all the sources of sugar I ingest daily." My new intentions animated my first hour, then first day, then first year off sugar.

There is an orthodoxy in our American diet world that insists we need goals. I think this goal-centricity comes from our business traditions, or, perhaps, from our deeply ingrained Protestant work ethic. But while some people seem to need goals, that was very much not the case with me. My intentions worked just fine. They were more like having an internal picture of how I wanted to be as an "eater," how I wanted to feel as I put on my clothes in the morning, and, ultimately, how I saw myself as being healthy over time. These are general portraits -- not specific, measureable goals -- that coalesced into a beautiful image of my future self. Like the soft forms in an impressionist painting, they were inexact -- not particularly sharp-focused, but very colorful!

In those first minutes and hours off sugar, every time I felt the urge to eat sweets, and every time I found myself reflexively reaching for the spoon to add sugar to my coffee, or heading for the cupboard to my chocolate stash, or scanning the dessert menu at my favorite hang-out, I invoked my intentions. By far, the intention that was the most fun, and probably the most helpful, hit me at a great restaurant in Berkeley, the day after my sugar-free life began. Confronted by a friend's fabulous-looking custard éclair, I set the intention of enjoying dessert BUT without eating it. It was a bolt of inspiration when I suddenly realized I could intend to enjoy that éclair's design, color, texture, and heavenly chocolate perfume, without stuffing it into my mouth. I had my cake, but didn't have to eat it, too.

Staying aware of what I was doing was the key. In fact, failure to be conscious would have meant a failure of my own intelligence. It seemed to work. In the early weeks, I was beginning to re-program my brain. All the deeply-cut neural pathways formed by a lifetime of habitual sugar-scarfing were being sculpted and superseded by new neural pathways -- forged by conscious intentions to do otherwise.

I can't say that Day 1 or Day 2 were fun, but it was a refreshing time for me. I had a feeling of vitality. I was doing something good for myself. And, the best part was that my fearfulness began to fade. I was eating properly. I began to consider that, maybe, the terrible things in Gary Taubes' article wouldn't happen to me. Perhaps a "fatty liver" wasn't my fate. Maybe I wasn't feeding cancer cells, or throwing off my entire metabolic process.

Beyond "intentionality," some other pieces of the happiness model also informed my first few days of dietary change:

• Accountability was in full force, and has been for the past year. We all know that the path to hell is paved with good intentions. Unless we're accountable to those intentions, they're a waste of time. Every time a well-meaning friend offers a taste of some terrific dessert -- flan, for example -- I invoke my intentions to do what's good for me. I'll look at the flan, inhale its aroma, remember what it used to taste like, let it enrich my aesthetic soul, and then move on.
• Flexibility (what we call "options" in the happiness model) played a role. I had to open up to the idea that learning new ways to eat was good for me, even in the face of the paradoxical thought that I needed to not be open to sugar. My thinking was this: I don't consume a bunch of stuff that's bad for me already. I don't smoke, drink (except a very occasional glass of wine), eat fast food or anything sheathed in plastic wrap with a stamped expiration date. I also don't eat rat poison. So why not do something new by adding an entry to my "No Eat List"? Adios, sugar!
• Truthfulness is another of those happiness traits that came into play. The happiest people tell the truth, and I needed to tell myself the truth. Actually, Gary Taubes' article told me the truth, and I had to re-tell it to myself. I needed to be honest with myself about how much sugar was sneaking into my diet -- in coffee, in desserts, in packaged cereals, in bottled sauces and jams, in dried fruits. I also became brutally honest with myself about my body, and how much I wanted it to stick around for the future.
• Giving was another piece that loomed large. I needed to give myself wellbeing. And by so doing, I was giving the gift of a healthier self to my children, lover, friends and colleagues.

What makes all of this possible is that we're the beneficiaries of recent discoveries, not just in the world of diet, but in medical science in general. I thank medical researchers for the concept of neuroplasticity. The fact that I can change my own brain with behavior and attitude is just incredible. It's one of the most optimistic and enjoyable pieces of information that's come out of the medical community in years.

I've come a long way in 12 months. A few years ago, I walked into a hotel breakfast room in Kadoka, S.D., and was thrilled by an impressive tower of donuts that was maybe three feet high. I remember thinking to myself that, given enough time, I could eat the whole, beautiful, gooey stack -- starting with the glazed jelly donuts. That memory makes me laugh, but the guy who would have gorged himself simply doesn't exist any more. I have changed. I'm a new person with new neural pathways, an improved body, no leg cramps in over a year, and vastly improved sleep patterns. Thank you, neuroplasticity. It's something we've all got.

And, that's how I really, really, really went off sugar.

For more by Rick Foster, click here.

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Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Stephen P. Williams: From an Amazon backwater to the Nobel Peace Prize

Stephen P. Williams: From an Amazon backwater to the Nobel Peace Prize

Lenin Moreno, the vice president of Ecuador, never set out to win the Nobel Peace Prize. But sometimes the most deserving nominees find their life's work at the point of a gun - literally.

Moreno grew up in Nuevo Rocafuerte, an Amazonian backwater near the Peruvian border. Despite his isolated upbringing, Moreno transformed himself into an elite lawyer in this country of over 14 million people astride the equator on the Pacific Coast of South America. Life was good, and then it wasn't.

One afternoon two teenagers decided to steal his car in a grocery store parking lot in Quito, the country's capital. Moreno handed over his keys and wallet, but still they shot him in the back, paralyzing him for life. One minute he was buying bread for his family; the next he was on a path that would turn him into an accidental activist, responsible for bringing a strong measure of peace to tens of thousands of disable people in Ecuador.

Ecuador is not a wealthy place, though it's incredibly rich in natural resources - both the extractable kind, and the less tangible ones, like natural beauty, human intelligence and creative thinking. The country was born out of the conquest, with Indian groups and the descendants of African slaves kept in submission by a dominant class descended from the Spaniards. The notion that some people weren't worth as much as other people was built into the culture, and endures to this day. Sadly, the burden is even greater for physically and mentally handicapped people, who until recently were often seen begging on cobblestone streets, strips of old inner-tubes tied to their hands and knees to protect their skin as they dragged themselves along.

Like most Ecuadorians, Moreno hadn't thought much about these people. They were background images, just more of the huge poverty class that still plagues Ecuador. But the bullet in his back changed all that. The injury plunged Moreno into a dark crevasse of neuralgia and depression. Bedridden and in extreme pain, he sank as low as a man can go. Drugs didn't work. Doctors were baffled.

But then Moreno discovered the value of laughter as a healing agent. His doctors thought it was ridiculous, at first. But his wife and three daughters believed in him. And together they laughed him out of his nightmare situation, and inspired him to write a number of books about the power of laughter to heal. After four years he was able to use a wheelchair to move around. He came to realize that the best way to cure his own chronic pain was with love, humor, friendship, respect of himself and others, optimism, faith and hope. These principals became the basis of his wildly popular motivational talks.That would be enough for most people, but not Moreno.

Able to move now, he returned to his legal work, and politics, and in 2007 was elected Vice President of Ecuador, serving under Rafael Correa. This was the first time that many Ecuadorians had seen a disabled man, in a wheelchair no less, in a position of power. Moreno knew how lucky he was to be educated, wealthy, and powerful, living with his family in a house filled with paintings, many of them the work of his oldest daughter Irina. And still he knew how tough it was to be handicapped. So he used the power of the former to help the latter.

In that first year, Moreno was astounded to learn that Ecuador spent little more than 100,000 dollars a year assisting its handicapped citizens. He took a fact-finding trip around the country and uncovered handicapped people living in chicken coops, caves, and rat-infested grass shelters. And not just one, but many.

Soon after taking office, Moreno raised the amount spent annually on help for the disabled in Ecuador by over 5,000 percent. He also founded the Manuela Espejo Solidarity Mission for the Disabled, which offers rehab, technical help, and psychological support to thousands of disabled Ecuadorians. Between 2009 and 2010 the Solidarity Mission visited over a million homes around the country and interviewed nearly 300,000 disabled people to find out what needs were most pressing. Many of those people received free medical checkups. And now the Solidarity Mission is spreading to Paraguay, Peru, Guatemala, Chile, El Salvador and Colombia.

These days, the baroque lobby of the vice presidential palace is often crowded with blind boys holding their mothers' hands, developmentally disabled adults clustered in groups, and people in wheelchairs and on crutches who believe that the vice president is someone who understands their needs.

Moreno downplays his exceptionalism. He once told a reporter from the Miami Herald: "We're all handicapped at some moment in our life--whether it's as children or as seniors. So I'm sure I'm not the only one."

But let's hope the Nobel committee plays it up. It would be good to see Moreno in Oslo this year.

To support Lenín Moreno for the Nobel Peace Prize follow @ANobelCause on Twitter.

Follow Stephen P. Williams on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@stephenwilliam

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Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Do Educated People Live Longer?

Do Educated People Live Longer?

If you struggle to lose yourself in your studies, this might help motivate you – people who are more educated ‘live longer’ claim a team of Swedish researchers.

According to scientists from the Centre of Health Equity Studies and the Swedish Institute for Social Research, people who are educated for at least nine years have a lower mortality rate after the age of 40 than those who study for eight years or less.

The research, based on the study results of 1.2 million Swedish people, found a link between education and life expectancy. They discovered that those exposed to an additional year of education adopted a more positive outlook on life during their ninth year of education, meaning they were more likely to look after their health and wellbeing.

“If your life is a little better, you take a little better care of yourself,” explains lead researcher Anton Lager in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, as reported by HealthDay.

“If you make a little more income, have a job with a little more flexibility, more control of time, then maybe you use less tobacco and alcohol," says Lager.

The researchers looked at data from 1949 to 2007, and discovered that people who received nine years of education as opposed to eight years and under, were less likely to die from all types of cancer (particularly lung cancer) and accidents.

Women with nine years of education behind them were less likely to die from heart disease.

• Brain-Boosting Foods

• Avocado

  Avocados are a great source of 'healthy fats' as well as a good blood circulation booster. This is important when it comes to brain power, as it enhances the blood flow to the brain, maintaining healthy brain function.

• Oily Fish

  The essential omega-3 fatty acids, found in oily fish like sardines, herring, trout and mackerel, as well as walnut oil and flaxseeds (linseeds) - are high in Docosahexaenoic acid (DHA), a fatty acid crucial to maintaining a healthy nervous system. Low DHA levels have been linked to a higher risk of developing Alzheimer's disease and memory loss. Fish also contains iodine, which is known to improve mental clarity. For brain and heart health, eat two servings of fish weekly.

• Whole grains

  Whole grains improve circulation and help regulate glucose levels in the blood as the steadier the glucose levels, the easier it is to concentrate. This is why it's important to eat breakfast in the morning, as it not only revs up the metabolism, but keeps your sugar levels balanced as well as protecting against diabetes and heart disease.

• Sugar

  Sugar is the brain's preferred fuel source, however before you reach for the table sugar, it's glucose that your body needs. The body metabolises glucose from the sugars and carbohydrates in food. That's why a glass of something sweet offers a short-term boost to memory, thinking processes, and mental ability. Too much sugar on the other hand, can result in impaired memory, so go easy on the sweet stuff and consume enough to boost your brain power.

• Caffeine

  Like sugar, caffeine perks up the brain but if you have too much, it can have negative effect on your mental state. Found in coffee, chocolate, energy drinks, and some medications, caffeine gives you that unmistakable wake-up feeling. But beware, the effects are short-term and if you overdo it, the brain can go into overdrive and make you more jittery than sharp thinking.

• Nuts And Seeds

  Nuts and seeds are great sources of antioxidant vitamin E, which is associated with less cognitive decline as you age. A good intake of vitamin E is linked to preventing poor memory. Nuts are a great source of vitamin E along with leafy green vegetables, seeds, eggs, brown rice and whole grains. Pumpkin seeds are especially good for boosting brain power, as a handful a day is all you need to get your recommended daily amount of zinc, vital for enhancing memory and thinking skills.

• Blueberries

  Blueberries and strawberries contain antioxidants, which are thought to protect brain neurons from damage, build communication receptors between each brain cell, and flush out waste. They also help protect against age-related diseases like Alzheimer's. Blackberries are also a great brain booster, as it contains Vitamin C which has long been thought to have the power to increase mental agility.

• Sage

  An unlikely contender, the humble sage has long had a reputation for improving memory. Although its recommended to try sage oils, try and sprinkle some sage into your diet.

• Vitamins

  Folic acid and vitamin B12 help prevent homocysteine from building up in the body, which is higher in those with Alzheimer's. Vitamin B, C, E, beta-carotene, and magnesium are also good vitamins to stock up on when looking to boost brain power.

• Tomato

  Tomato's contain lycopene, a powerful antioxidant that helps protect against the kind of free radical damage to cells which occurs in the development of dementia, particularly Alzheimer's.

• Broccoli

  A great source of vitamin K, broccoli which is known to enhance cognitive function and improve brainpower.

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Source: www.huffingtonpost.co.uk

Dr. Isaac Eliaz: Insights Into Mother's Day

Dr. Isaac Eliaz: Insights Into Mother's Day

What a gorgeous time of year it is! As we enjoy the delights of spring, I am continually inspired and uplifted by the beauty and energy of this season. This is an excellent time of the year to enhance your health with a gentle seasonal detox or cleanse -- simple and so beneficial on every level. This time of year also offers an excellent opportunity to release old patterns, fears and frustrations, so we can move forward in a more harmonized way. The strong life energy of this season moves our emotions, and if we are listening, we can find the places where our energy is stuck -- the places that need healing.

It is no coincidence that Mother's Day comes at just this time of year. The archetype of motherhood is the source of all life -- the most primary and primal connection that marks the beginning of our individual existence. This season ushers in a real opportunity to get in touch with the life force flowing within us, and to feel a deep sense of gratitude for our own life.

In ancient spiritual traditions, one of the fundamental tenets is that "everyone was once your mother." This concept has many important meanings. Human beings and living beings are interdependent and interconnected, whether we recognize it or not. Respecting all beings, and treating each with the kindness that we would extend to our own mother, are powerful tools that we can practice moment-to-moment. This image, this metaphor, can inspire us to develop greater kindness toward our own mothers, toward ourselves, and toward anyone we are connected with.

I encourage you to make some time to contemplate your relationship with your mother. Often in our culture people have challenging relationships, or have had particular experiences that were difficult, with their mothers. We tend to continue carrying this burden throughout the years, which can create a deep but perhaps unconscious wound in our fundamental relationship to life.

Healing this relationship is very important, and this time of year enhances our ability to transform these old wounds. In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), the spring season is associated with the liver. The liver, as you know, processes what comes into our bodies, so that we can use what's beneficial and safely eliminate what's not. If the liver and digestion are not functioning well, toxins get recycled back into our bodies. This is true on an emotional level as well. In TCM, the liver is associated with anger and frustration, common feelings that many in our culture have had with their mothers, at some point in life. We can work on it, but more importantly, we can simply allow the attitude and practice of deep love and gratitude to our mothers as the ones who gave us life, to open our hearts toward all living beings.

It is always possible to heal and restore this relationship to our mothers. You can do this even if your mother is no longer alive.

I'd like to share some excerpts from a writing called "A Rose for Your Pocket" by Thich Nhat Hanh, who writes beautifully on the subject of healing our relationship with our mothers.

Even an old person, when he loses his mother, doesn't feel ready. He too has the impression that he is not yet ripe, that he is suddenly alone. He feels as abandoned and unhappy as a young orphan. When I was a child I heard a simple poem about losing your mother, and it is still very important for me.
That year, although I was still very young
My mother left me.
And I realized
That I was an orphan.
I realized that to lose your mother
Is to lose the whole universe.
We swim in a world of tender love for many years,
And, without even knowing it, we are quite happy there.
Only after it is too late do we become aware of it.

We tend to think that healing this relationship is complicated, and many times we get stuck not knowing how or what to do. Thich Nhat Hanh, in his beautiful straightforward way, gives us a starting path that is simple and yet very powerful:

The next time you visit your mother, you may wish to go into her room and, with a calm and silent smile, sit down beside her. Without saying anything, make her stop working. Then, look at her for a long time, look at her deeply. Do this in order to see her, to realize that she is there; she is alive, beside you. Take her hand and ask her one short question to capture her attention, "Mother, do you know something?" She will be a little surprised and will probably smile when she asks you, "What, dear?" Keep looking into her eyes, smiling serenely, and say, "Do you know that I love you?"
Ask this question without waiting for an answer. Even if you are thirty or forty years old, or older, ask her as the child of your mother. Your mother and you will be happy, conscious of living in eternal love.
Then tomorrow, when she leaves you, you will have no regrets.

This kind of approach, this kind of profound experience, does not only have the potential to heal your relationship with your mother; it has the potential to heal your relationship with yourself and others.

If your mother is not alive, you can do this practice by visualizing your mother and talking with her. You may have many layers of feelings to experience and release as you go through this process. Allow it to unfold and peel away, letting go of everything that is arising. You will eventually come to this very simple place of unconditional love, acceptance, and if necessary, forgiveness. It's important to recognize that it is okay to ask for guidance from a qualified therapist or healer as you navigate this process. The tools you develop will benefit all of your relationships, and restoring this connection with your mother can transform the life she gave you. Love and compassion, an open heart, are the greatest healers. They protects us and offers us the opportunity to heal ourselves and others.

May this spring season bring healing and renewal to all aspects of your life.

For more by Dr. Isaac Eliaz, click here.

For more on Mother's Day, click here.

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Arianna Huffington: My Mother Was The Ultimate Fearless Role Model’: Arianna’s Amazing Mom, Elli Stassinopoulos

Arianna Huffington: My Mother Was The Ultimate Fearless Role Model’: Arianna’s Amazing Mom, Elli Stassinopoulos

The first experience of fear I remember was a particularly strange one. I was 9-years-old. Over dinner one night, my mother started telling my younger sister, Agapi, and me about the time during the Greek civil war, in the 1940s, when she fled to the mountains with two Jewish girls. As part of the Greek Red Cross, she was taking care of wounded soldiers and hiding the girls.

She described the night when German soldiers arrived at their cabin and started to shoot, threatening to kill everyone if the group did not surrender the Jews the Germans suspected (rightly) they were hiding. My mother, who spoke fluent German, stood up and told them categorically to put down their guns, that there were no Jews in their midst. And then she watched the German soldiers lower their guns and walk away. And just hearing it, I remember the fear rising inside me, not just fear for my mother and the danger she faced but fear for myself. How would I ever live up to this standard of fearlessness?

My mother did not let financial concerns stop her from leaving my father when I was 11-years-old. For my father, as for many Greek men of his generation, there was nothing wrong with extramarital affairs. "I don't want you to interfere with my private life," I remember him telling my mother when she complained. His marriage was part of his public life, his affairs part of his private life. But that was not okay for her, and even though she had no job and no obvious way to earn money, she took her two children and left, trusting that somehow she would make ends meet. And, somehow, she did.

My mother was the ultimate non-thing person. For instance, there was the time we tried to give her a second watch for her birthday, only to have her give it to someone else two days later. "I already have a watch," she explained.

She told me once that she operated like the government: She first decided what it was that her children needed and then she set out to find the money. My mother was one of the original deficit financers. She made ends meet by borrowing or by selling her possessions, from a carpet brought by her parents from Russia to her last pair of gold earrings. My mother's real wealth was the fact that she never made decisions from a place of lack. Even when she and my sister and I had to share a one-bedroom apartment in Athens, she always radiated abundance. When I said I wanted to go to Cambridge, she never said, "We don't have the money." Which we didn't. She was a dreamer and always believed that the universe would conspire to bring forward the resources to fulfill her dreams. Which in her case were all dreams for her daughters.

When I started making money -- after my biography of Maria Callas became a big bestseller -- my mother saw this financial success only as a passport to freedom, which for her meant never having to make decisions based simply on the price tag. She taught my sister and me all about abundance: that it has more to do with your state of mind than your actual bank balance. And she was constantly living in a state of offering. Food, of course, was her favorite thing to offer, but it was a metaphor for so much more. I'm convinced that she absolutely believed that something terrible would happen to her children -- and her grandchildren and her friends -- if they went 20 minutes without eating. Nobody could ring our doorbell, whether the Federal Express man or a parent dropping off a child for a play date, without being asked, indeed urged, to sit down and try whatever she was cooking in the kitchen. And nobody could leave our house without goody bags filled with food.

My mother took control of her own status and defined her own worth. So she was freed from the petty turf wars and ugly envy of the status game, freed from fear about how "they" ranked her and what privileges "they" would bestow on her. By deciding her own worth and radiating the confidence that comes with this, she was secure in her status regardless of her life's circumstances. Getting rid of the fear that the status game generated allowed my mother to connect in a much deeper way with people at all levels of life.

She cut through hierarchies and showed everyone fortunate enough to come into contact with her that we're all cut from the same cloth. She approached life by liking everybody, and because this feeling of trust and connection is contagious, everybody liked her right back.

One night, while I was living in London, a member of Parliament I was dating at the time brought the Prime Minister Edward Heath to dinner. My mother was in the kitchen, where she could be found most of the time, talking to the plumber, who had come to fix a last-minute problem. As I was leaving the kitchen, I overheard my mother asking the plumber what he thought of the prime minister. I didn't hear his reply, but a few minutes later my mother had engineered a sit-down between the prime minister and the plumber around the kitchen table so they could talk things out.

Later in life she put into practice her beliefs that there is no job that is beneath anybody and that one's status is not determined by what one does for a living but by the qualities and dignity one brings to the job. In the mid-seventies, she went to Los Angeles for an extended visit with my sister and her then-husband. After about a month, when it became clear that my sister's husband would rather not live with his mother-in-law, my mother, not wanting to bother anybody, decided she would just strike out on her own.

But to do this, she was going to need a job. So she thought about what she knew how to do, what her talents were. What she came up with was that she knew how to manage a home -- cooking, cleaning, and making everything run smoothly, on time, and with a minimum of friction. It was what she'd done all her life, and she was good at it. She put an ad in the paper looking for someone who needed a house manager. Lo and behold, she got a call back, went for the interview, and got the job. So she found herself in Santa Barbara, taking care of a beautiful family and their teenage kids, all of whom immediately fell in love with her. Aside from all the household duties, my mother would counsel the whole family on her organizational ideas, which she dubbed, "creative order." More often than not, the kids would end up in my mother's room, talking through their problems with her.

She had taken the job with no sense of inferiority, and so it never occurred to the family to treat her as inferior. She simply went there to be of service and to earn a living, never forgetting exactly who she was. And, of course, when she got her first paycheck, she tried to give it to Agapi and me because she said she didn't need money, since she already had room and board.

Her adventure ended when I called her and asked her to please come to London. I need you, I told her, if I'm ever going to finish this book. My mother had never been able to resist a call of need from one of her daughters. So she flew to London and managed my little flat instead, keeping the kitchen going all night while I was furiously working to meet my self-imposed deadline.

Her job in Santa Barbara had been one more way that she taught her daughters by example how to cut through hierarchies and never wait for authority and leadership to be granted from without. Her solutions to problems would sometimes seem simple and obvious, but that was because of the fearlessness and trust with which she approached the world and moved through it.

I was blessed to have my own mother as my ultimate fearless role model. She and I were different in one key way: She lived in the rhythm of a timeless world, a child's rhythm; I lived in the hectic, often unnatural rhythm of the modern world. While I had the sense every time I looked at my watch that I was running out of time, she lived in a world where a trip to the farmers' market happily filled half a day, where there was always enough time for wonder at how lovely the rosemary looked next to the lavender. In fact, going through the market with her was like walking through the Louvre with an art connoisseur, except that you could touch and smell and taste the still-lifes.

The last time my mother was upset with me was when she saw me talking with my children and opening my mail at the same time. She despised multitasking. She believed that it was simply a way to miss life, to miss the gifts that come only when you give 100 percent of yourself to a task, a relationship, a moment. She was quite certain in her belief that many of our emergencies were actually manufactured.

My mother embodied the qualities that we need to grow into as we grow older -- especially simplicity and a connection with the sacred. For all those blessed to be in her orbit, it felt as if these dimensions of life were taken care of.

While our goal at the beginning of life is to see what we can make of it, my mother used to say that as we grow older, the goal is to see what it can make of us. Well, she made of life a grand adventure -- and it made of her a magnificent tour guide.

My mother, who lived with me most of my life -- through my marriage, childbirth, and divorce -- died in 2000. Her death forced me to confront my deepest fear: living my life without the person who had been its foundation. I did lose her, and I have had to go on without her. But the way she lived her life and faced her death have taught me so much about overcoming fear.

Add your voice to the conversation on Twitter: twitter.com/ariannahuff

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Honoree Corder: The Scariest Thing I Did After My Split

Honoree Corder: The Scariest Thing I Did After My Split

I broke down in tears within two weeks of my split, but not because I was getting divorced. No, it was sex, or more specifically, the prospect of having sex with a new person (people!) that send me over the edge. I was having drinks with two friends, both of whom had been divorced for several years, and we stumbled upon the subject of dating. I remember my friend saying, "Don't worry, you'll even start having sex again before you know it."

Right there, in the middle of happy hour, I lost it. Seriously, I was a mom. I was a former breast-feeder, and those breasts were in a race for my knees! I had stretch marks, for God's sake, and there was no way I was going to allow anyone to see all of that. On top of it, I was over 30 and we all know that once you're over 30, that's it.

Well, no, that wasn't it. While my physical body was no longer in an unmarred, pre-baby state, I still looked pretty good. I just had all of those disempowering thoughts running around in my head, and it was up to me to change them. I had to get clear that it isn't just a physical body that a man is attracted to; I had other qualities that would be interesting to men.

If you're like most of the women I know, we don't think of sex as just an act -- it's something we do that means something. Sometimes it literally means everything. We engage in it with someone we love, someone we're committed to. After a divorce, it's not that we don't have needs, it's just that those needs take a back-seat to going through the emotions that come with divorce.

In order to open up to sex, love and dating after divorce, the first step is to heal. Healing, unfortunately, can be a pretty hard and daunting process because it means you must be willing to take a hard look at yourself and identify patterns, personality challenges, and opportunities for growth. Once you've gone through that process -- and it takes much longer than it took for me to just type that sentence -- you will eventually find someone you will want to be intimate with (I promise).

You'll also want to get your needs met, just perhaps in a different way than before. I'm a pretty touchy-feely person, so my coach suggested I get my inherent need for touch in another way -- I found that was a great excuse to get a weekly massage. You'll want to identify those needs and then find creative ways to get them met, without compromising your values.

Honorée Corder is an executive coach, personal transformation expert, and the author of "The Successful Single Mom" book series, written for single moms who want to create an amazing future, available at Barnes & Noble, Amazon.com, Smashwords.com and on iTunes. She also created the Single Mom Transformation Program. Visit thesuccessfulsinglemom.blogspot.com for more information. Stay tuned for the upcoming The Successful Single Dad.

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com

Will Wilkinson: Make Sure Your I.G.S. Is Steering Your GPS

Will Wilkinson: Make Sure Your I.G.S. Is Steering Your GPS

Being able to get to your geographical destination easily and quickly depends on navigation skills and traffic. Attaining life goals is more complicated. Outcomes are often vague, like being rich and happily married, which is hardly as precise as getting to Marv's Deli in Brooklyn by 7 p.m. on Thursday night.

Some life destinations turn out to be more satisfying than others. Remember times when you got what you wanted, only to be disappointed and unfulfilled? Likewise, you've enjoyed the opposite -- soul level contentment that resulted from actualizing your core intentions. What makes the difference?

All of us have an inner guidance system, what we like to call our I.G.S. It's tuned to a source frequency that broadcasts 24/7 to every living form. This source frequency is known by many names -- some of which are religiously incorrect -- and it effortlessly moves the tides, prevents planets from colliding, and keeps our hair growing (albeit sometimes in the wrong places). When we know how to tune in to source guidance and follow it, we live in harmony with everything else that uses the same navigational system.

Our egos don't. In fact, they thrive on separation from source and have their own substitute system entirely preoccupied with winning, wealth, security, and fame. They have no interest in something as impractical sounding as "source awareness." In fact, our egos have made it their life work to over ride our I.N.S. and divert us into tangential flight paths that lead to collisions and conflict, but there are easily-detected warning signs. How do we recognize them? By cultivating source awareness so we can recognize the difference.

Source awareness is really self-awareness, in the truest sense, since ultimately there is no separation between self and source. And "source" is not mysterious. We're really just talking about the causative level of our experience, which can also be called "evolving self-awareness" or, even more simply, wakefulness. When we are wakeful and pay attention to our inner essence, we can orchestrate a shift from ego-driven to soul-driven navigation. Amazing things start to happen. Now we're going with the flow: previously-rare "synchronicities" become commonplace and conflict diminishes.

Back to those warning signs, here's a few of them you'll probably recognize:

1. Fear. There's a place for fear (like reacting instinctively to an armed assailant), but not in the drivers seat. Fear doesn't need to automatically motivate your behavior when it's inappropriate. The majority of what you fear is imaginary anyway, like worrying about a cold turning out to be cancer. Here's an easy way to deal with fear before it misguides you: stop (interrupt an unconscious reaction), look (assess what's really happening) and listen (tune in for source guidance).

2. Scarcity thinking. You can't be fighting for your piece of the pie and baking a bigger pie at the same time. Remember that the universe is expanding... and so is your evolutionary potential. Sure, this economy challenges that new age belief in universal abundance, but your true wealth is invested well beyond Wall Street. The richness of being who you are always trumps the bragging rights about what you have. That's proven every time someone breathes their last, recalling the love they shared with family and friends, never gloating over how much money they made.

3. Judgment. Nothing needs to be fixed. Of course, you want the world to work for everyone, all children to be safe and well-fed, and your team to win. But a truly better world arises as a reflection of source qualities -- causative forces like kindness, compassion, and generosity -- not from clever ego strategies based in illusory judgment. Those positive, causative qualities must be focused through what you actually do, not just what you think about. And those well-meaning actions that the ego organizes, like saving the world, devoid of those qualities? Well, remember what they say about the road to hell being paved with... right, good intentions!

4. Busyness. Being crazy-busy is nothing to be proud of. It's another warning sign that the ego is at the helm and trying to run your life on its own. If source intelligence can coordinate the orbits of billions of stars, manage the regeneration of trillions of cells in trillions of organisms, plus find you a parking place when you're running late -- all at the same time and without breaking a sweat or using a Blackberry -- it's safe to relax. Breathe. Enjoy the moment and just flow. Everything else already is, except desperate human egos, flailing away in separation.

Your GPS won't work without a power source and neither will your I.G.S. Your GPS needs electricity; an I.G.S. needs life force. You can feel that energy whenever you meditate, so that's a good idea. But you can't meditate all day long, so take regular time outs to develop the experience of being consistently present, more fully alive and enjoying where you are in each moment.

Life is a journey not a destination, and making sure that your I.G.S. is steering your GPS will keep you on track, expanding genuine happiness while fulfilling your soul's core intentions, not just shuttling you efficiently from one location to another. All of us are here to grow anyway, to better ourselves, not just to make really good time in the wrong direction.

Master Charles Cannon, author, teacher, creator of High Tech Meditation, is a modern spiritual teacher, visionary and pioneer in the evolution of human consciousness.

Will Wilkinson is an author who collaborates with modern visionaries to render ancient wisdom for modern applications.

http://forgivingtheunforgivable.com/index.php/forgiving-the-unforgivalbe-blog

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Source: www.huffingtonpost.com